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To my sweet Daisy,

The world has gone mad. There was so much we could have done, but now we’re too far along. I have watched the people I love suffer. I have felt the pain of my own blood. There were days of fear and paranoia when we left home. What if, upon our return, the virus came home? What if we were terrorized for simply looking the way that we do? What would happen to your father if we weren’t careful? These were just the very few thoughts that consumed my mind during those times.

The world was chaotic. There were crimes of hate, crimes of selfishness. No one seemed to think of anyone other than themselves. They left their homes not knowing the destruction they could carry—a kind of danger so catastrophic that brought out the worst in people. It unmasked the truth behind those so full of hate. When there was nothing left, everyone became for themselves. We were never really in it together as they once said. They would never come to know the frightening truth of being an eye magnet for the public. Their words were merely an attempt to conceal their imperceptions. With the virus gone, hate took its place—lingering in the droplets of the air that we breathe.

The world needed healing. Not the kind of healing that required medicine, but the kind of healing that needed patience. The world never experienced the time that she deserved so instead, we are paying for the costs. People are still suffering in the hands of recklessness. We went right back to reality not too long after the virus and just like that; the fear came alive again. When the next wave hit, there were more deaths. More of our loved ones lost and it was all because people couldn’t bear the idea of being locked away for their own safety. What if, because of their greed, your father was taken away from you? I did everything in my power to protect him but what if I no longer had that power? I did everything I could, for you. He’s alive and well today not because of the people that hogged everything for themselves, not because of the people that exposed themselves to the virus—but to the doctors, nurses and health care workers that risked their lives for him. It was because of the ones that stayed home and followed orders that made this everlasting nightmare go by. It was always the ones that put their lives in danger to help others. They were the ones who were really in it together. They are the reason that we are moving forward now.

The world remembered. As much as we wanted to forget, there were things that reminded us every day. Many of us lost the very people we cared about—neighbors, friends, and families. As much as we wanted to forget, how could we fill that empty void inside of us? We couldn’t forget the hate crimes, the intolerant judgements, nor could we forget the deaths. As much as we wanted to put that behind, it continued to follow us. We all see one another differently now. From strangers greeting one another in public to strangers who look at one another in disgust. We never learned anything from this event; we only learned that we couldn’t trust those around us. We couldn’t trust our neighbors, we couldn’t trust the higher powers, and we couldn’t even trust ourselves. I tried to remember the times when we treated each other as humans. Now, everyone stares down as if they’re disappointed in one another. I know we still have a long way for recovery and although there is no way to forget what happened, we must accept it. We have to take it all in and recognize that we were all responsible for our recovery. I tried to do my part so that you had a future with your father in it. I wanted this world to heal—for you.

With love, S

One Response to “The Kind of Healing That Needed Patience…”

  1. Sean Hernández Adkins

    I really feel this. Your letter reminds me of an Anishinaabeg concept I learned reading Indigenous scholar Leanne Simpson’s book—the past remembers the future. And you’re right, the shiny veneer that society uses to distract from its white supremacy is cracked and exposed; who is really in this together? One day we will all find out, but I hope it’s those of us who dream of a different future—one that doesn’t need a veneer to shine.


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